The Muscet Cove Yacht Club regatta in Vanuatu.

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MUSKET COVE REGATTA

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September, 1993
Hi there! We’ve found one of the loveliest places so far in the South Pacific, all their minor problems aside. What a lovely place Vanuatu is. Of course, the weather has been great, which does wonders for one's outlook.

What a great reception we had in Vila. Customs and Immigration clearance is a bit strict - the officials come out to the yacht in the quarantine area, but they were polite and efficient. A Vanautu Cruising Yacht Club chase boat came out to us as we were dropping anchor in the quarantine area with a "welcome basket" - in the bag were: 4 rolls of toilet paper, two loaves of French bread, a sack of garbage bags, a bunch of cucumbers, a six-pack of beer, a cruising guide to Vanuatu, and tickets for a cocktail party. Yachtsmen put the basket together, and it was perfect - the precise needs of a cruising yacht.

Vila is the cleanest harbor we have ever seen. Vila is also probably the cleanest town we have ever seen. The people are lovely - all of them - and we feel great.

MUSKET COVE YACHT CLUB: perhaps one of the largest yet most exclusive Yacht Clubs in the Pacific – to be a Blue Water member you have to sail here from a Foreign Port. Membership fee is $1.00 for the Skipper (as they have already spent a fortune to get here) and $5.00 for crew who have worked hard to reach this special place – there is no easy way to be a Blue Water member of this Club.

MUSKET COVE – PORT VILA YACHT REGATTA, 1993

RULES OF THE REGATTA

1. Each yacht must start from Musket Cove, Malolo Lailai Fiji on or about September 18th, 1993 finish at or near Vila, Vanuatu in the same year.

2. All vessels are requested to run their engines at least one hour per day.

3. This is a cruise event and not intended to be an ordeal. The rules of cruising apply; if the weather is poor at the intended start, the start will be delayed until the weather is good, or at least fair.

4. All boats to maintain a 24-hour watch.

5. All boats to have a 360 degree masthead light on during night hours.

6. All competitors to be at Dick’s Bistro at 8:30 am for Customs and Immigration clearance. Please bring all relative papers. (Dick will provide a boat service for those who have no dinghy available.)

7. Customs and Immigration will be at Port Vila.

8. The finish line will be clearly marked; see finishing instructions.

9. Radio schedules NOT compulsory, but requested so we have some idea how you are going.

10. Fishing is compulsory.

11. Apart from several prizes for various sections of the race, there will be a prize for the largest fish.

12. Each yacht must carry fuel and/or spiritous liquor to the Race Committee's satisfaction, and the committee reserves the right to remove samples of either for analysis.

13. Use of light weather sails and drifters is strongly to be discouraged, and motoring is to be regarded as the usual means of propulsion in winds of less than 10 knots.

14. Line honours yacht will be automatically disqualified unless it can be proven that blatant cheating occurred.

15. Competitors are bound by the rules to keep overall placings in strictest confidence.

16. Penalties (and possible disqualification) will be incurred on yachts with any of the following:

(a) Rod rigging
(b) Bloopers
(c) Matching oilskins
(d) Rating Certificate
(e) Sails less than 4 years old
(f) Trouble-free refrigeration system
(g) Sperry Topsiders or similar footwear
(h) Bow thrusters

17. Handicap allowance will be given to yachts carrying 2 or more of the following:-
(a) Iron, ironing board
(b) Washing machine
(c) Pot plants
(d) Goose barnacles exceeding 2" in length
(e) More than 2 pairs of pyjamas per crew member
(f) Children
(g) Hand-drawn or photostated charts more than 15 years old
(h) Homemade sextants, logs or outboards

18. Each yacht will be awarded a divisional first place bulk-head plaque at the prizegiving.

19. Small boats may start up to 3 days early if they wish but will miss their pig feast and not be eligible for the P.I.T.C.O. cup.

Musket Cove - Port Vila Regatta news. The race started on Saturday, September 18, with a high pressure system sitting on top of us - no wind at all for two days, so everyone motored - as it turned out, he who had the best engine "won" the race. We arrived in Vila at 11:30 in the morning on Wednesday, September 22 the 20th boat in (out of 43 in the "race").

We've made out like bandits on this regatta. At the captain's cocktail party the ladies were asked to give a short speech on why they hated sailing. I did a song, to the tune of "I don't want no more of Army life" and won the prize - a bottle of champagne and two Waterford crystal champagne flutes. Friends on another yacht tell us that they videotaped my "performance" - I'm dying to see it.

"WHY I HATE SAILING"

THE SKIPPER SAYS THAT SAILING'S HOW YOU KEEP OLD AGE AT BAY,
HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW, I'M GRAYER BY THE DAY.

(CHORUS):
OH, I CAN'T TAKE THIS LOUSY SAILING LIFE,
HEY CAP, I WANT TO GO HOME.

WHAT MAKES THE SAILING GREAT ARE THE TRADE WINDS, S0 THEY SAY,
SO WHY THE HELL HAVE WE BEEN MOTORING ALL THIS WAY,
(CHORUS)

THE SKIPPER SAYS HE'S HUNGRY, THREE COURSES WILL BE FINE,
BUT HOW THE HELL DO I COOK WHEN I'M SEASICK ALL THE TIME,
(CHORUS)

ONE CALM DAY THE SKIPPER THOUGHT HE'D FIX OUR LEAKY LOO,
IT'S BEEN A WEEK, THE HEAD STILL LEAKS, AND I'M TURNING KINDA BLUE,
(CHORUS)

WHEN THINGS ARE CALM THE CAPTAIN GETS TO LOOKING PRETTY SPRY,
KINKY SEX IS ON HIS MIND TO MAKE THE TIME GO BY,
(CHORUS}

WE DREAM OF STEAKS AND CHOPS AND FANCY SALAD GREENS,
WHEN ALL WE HAVE FOR DAYS ON END IS RICE AND MUSHY BEANS,
(CHORUS)

THE SKIPPER SAID A FRIEND WOULD CREW TO MAKE THE PASSAGE LIGHT,
BUT HE JUST SLEPT, ATE ALL OUR FOOD, BROKE EVERYTHING IN SIGHT,
( CHORUS )

OUR CHILDREN CRY AND TELL US THAT THEY THINK WE'RE REALLY NUTS,
TWO OLD FARTS SHOULD NOT BE OUT IN FRAGILE PLASTIC BOATS,
...OH, THEY DON'T WANT THEIR KIDS TO BE LIKE US,
HEY CAP, I WANT TO GO HOME.

The Musket Cove Coconut Trophy handicap is as follows: line honors yacht is automatically disqualified, the rest of the yachts' names are put in a bowl and the winner is drawn from that. Watermelon won! The prize is $1,000 worth of accommodations at Musket Cove, plus $250 worth of food there.

These people have the right idea for a cruising regatta. There were prizes for largest fish; smallest fish; smallest bikini. Every finisher got a prize of some sort - hotel accommodations, two days rental car, restaurant meals, etc. Everyone was a winner - the best kind of "race". This past Sunday they had a fun day 'round the buoys race, and everyone got a very nice polo shirt. And on top of all this, as I keep saying, Vila is a very lovely place. Wow! What a great idea this was.

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